Always Me.

I'm so mad at myself right now. I'm too god damn remorsefull!
I'm always the one that ends up saying sorry in the end for something I never even did. He just told me that the reason that he "randomly" stopped liking me was my fault. Of course, everything's my fault. It's always my fault. AND THEN! Then, he tells me that he doesn't give a shit anymore. Owch, another stab in the chest. Like, how am I upposed to take that?
I don't think that he understands why I was mad at him though (when we came back to school) because I think thats why he stopped liking me.
I was mad at him because I was told that he went and got a girlfriend when I thought he still liked me, even though that (apparently) wasn't true. And then I was mad because I heard rumours that him liking me was all a joke. I know it doesn't sound like much, but if you think about it from my perspective then it's totally different. Can you imagine if the person that you really really liked suddenly got a girlfriend/boyfriend and you knew nothing about it and he/she never said anything to you? And can you imagine how it would feel if you found out that the guy/girl that liked you only did it for a joke with his/her friends? Who knows, it may not seem like much to you, but to me, well, it just seems like I'm the only one in the world who knows about anything that's going on.
If he reads this, then maybe he could figure out why I was so mad and such a bitch. I don't really know what'd going to happen next but I don't think it can get much worse from here.
I'm not asking for anything from anyone, I'm just venting, because that's what this blog is for.
Life can suck sometimes, in many different ways.
I guess you could explain it like a pile of laundry. You keep throwing pieces of laundry in the pile but it never seems to make it's way down to the washer and dryer. The pile keeps getting bigger and bigger and harder to move. One day, the pile will get so big that it's unable to be moved. My pile is getting pretty darn big. I just wish it would go away.
It's probably a stupid way to explain it, but I don't know another way I can.
All of my friends are just telling me, don't think about the bad stuff, think about the good stuff, but they just don't get it.
I hate it when people tell me how to live. They aren't living a day in my shoes, so how would they know?
Anyway, I'm going to go, dinner soon, then one of my bestfriend's is coming over. Bye,
flirtygirl. ( L ) xx.