Home.

A lot has happened in the last little while at home.
For years, my parents haven't gotten along. I've put up with it ever since I was a very little girl. I have to think that I'm what started everything. Before I was born, everyone was happy, well, in my family at least. Now everyday, it seems either I'm fighting with my Mom, or my parents are fighting with each other.
They keep saying that they are going to divorce and that they can't take all this fighting anymore, but they never do. What breaks my heart the most is that my Dad has stayed in the relationship for so long because of me. He wants to protect me, make sure I'm okay, so his life remains miserable, while he sticks up for me, day after day.
My Mom and I have never really gotten along that well. She puts on a show for everyone, and that makes my Dad and I so mad. She could be screaming the hell out of herself at us, but then the phone rings and she picks it up with a totally cheery voice that could speak for itself. "Oh, my house is perfect, my life's amazing, I have the perfect family."
Yeah. Bull shit.
It really sucks though, because I know that they actually will divorce one day, and my whole life will change.

I got proposed with a very amazing offer a couple weeks ago... But I had to turn that offer down because of home. My parents both wanted me to go, but I couldn't handle any more change in my life. I thought that it would be helping me by excluding the new change that was about to occur, but that just made matters worse... Way worse.
My parents both said at the start of this whole "offer" thing, that they would stand by me through whatever decision I made. My Dad stood by me through the whole thing and kept his promise of supporting whatever I decide. He was leaning me a bit more towards one thing, but I still went against it. My Mom on the other hand, she was dead set on her decision, and that decision was the total opposite of mine. She didn't care what I had to say or think, she was telling me what to do, and what decision to make.
Because of me saying no, I caused an eruption in my house. For about a week, there were tears flying everywhere and the house was silent. All the yelling had been done. No one would talk to each other. We didn't want anything more to happen to our family than what had already happened.
Finally, silence broke. A birthday rolled along and we were forced to seem like a happy family in front of all our relatives.

Since that birthday, we've been okay... I guess. Not as much fighting as usual. Which is good, but I just want it all to end, if that means divorce, then so be it.

Everyone always says my parents look so nice, and so happy, and that my life is so great... But they don't know what goes on behind closed doors, do they?